Post by Faith Lehane on May 16, 2017 12:42:20 GMT -5
"Yes, Faith. You can pick your team," the blonde slayer said to me.
I was still a little dumbfounded. There was so much history between Buffy and me. Hell, there was so much history between everyone and me, if I'm bein' honest. And yeah, we worked together to defeat Caleb and the First, but did they really think I was ready for this? Did I think I was ready for this? My own Hellmouth? Little slayers-in-training? Did my good deeds warrant any of this? Have I tipped the scales enough to earn this? Thoughts had begun to swirl, but suddenly... they stopped. No, scratch that. I stopped them.
I am ready for this. I had earned this. I'd stopped my fair share of apocalypses. I'd atoned for my sins. I'd been called for a reason, and whoever or whatever had chosen me had been right to. I am strong. I am smart. I am worthy. I will be the best damn defender this place has ever seen. And I AM ready for this. I small smile escaped as I realized that my thoughts were sounding more like truths than pep-talks.
B's laugh brought me back 'round to the conversation.
"Actually," she said, "You'll have a set up. A house has already been purchased by Giles. You and your team will all be there, so it might be a little tight." She began walking again, and I followed her. She continued, "Though not nearly as tight as my house was when ALL the girls were there."
My eyes lit up. I was only half-serious about my own little Hyperion hotel sitch, but my own little command central? I began to tear up, but I quickly blocked that out and side stepped that barrel of awkardness.
"My own place? Wicked!" I said, opting for the excitement over the feelings per usual. A small part of me flashed back to when another person I cared for gave me a better place to lay my head, and for the first time in a long while, I acknowledged the memory and let it go without taking the time to kick myself.
"You know, I'm really glad I made the trip Faith," she said to me.
I wanted to hug her. I wanted to cry on her shoulder. I wanted to tell her how very sorry I had been for... everything. Everything I'd ever done to her or said to her. The pain I’d caused her… and her friends… and her boyfriends. I wanted to tell her thanks for giving me another shot. Thanks for believing in me when some many people hadn't, including myself. Thanks for giving me something to live for, and for giving me something to protect with people in it worth protecting. I wanted to... but I didn't. Seems like a convo for another time.
I nudged her shoulder back, "Same here, B. It's nice to see ya. Shouldn’t be such a stranger!" I flashed a smile that hopefully conveyed to her everything I wished I had the nerve to say. Then, upon seeing the keys, I snapped out of the sea of emotions I was drifting in.
"You want to see what you got?" she asked me, smiling.
“I would LOVE to,” I said, thankful for a break from my own thoughts. I hooked my arm back in hers. “Maybe if you have some time before heading back, you can help with decorations and furniture… or whatever. I mean, my last apartment was decorated by a guy whose highest aspiration was to become 60 foot tall pure-breed demon that looked like a snake.” I paused and smiled before continuing, “I mean, there were sheer blue curtains!”
I was still a little dumbfounded. There was so much history between Buffy and me. Hell, there was so much history between everyone and me, if I'm bein' honest. And yeah, we worked together to defeat Caleb and the First, but did they really think I was ready for this? Did I think I was ready for this? My own Hellmouth? Little slayers-in-training? Did my good deeds warrant any of this? Have I tipped the scales enough to earn this? Thoughts had begun to swirl, but suddenly... they stopped. No, scratch that. I stopped them.
I am ready for this. I had earned this. I'd stopped my fair share of apocalypses. I'd atoned for my sins. I'd been called for a reason, and whoever or whatever had chosen me had been right to. I am strong. I am smart. I am worthy. I will be the best damn defender this place has ever seen. And I AM ready for this. I small smile escaped as I realized that my thoughts were sounding more like truths than pep-talks.
B's laugh brought me back 'round to the conversation.
"Actually," she said, "You'll have a set up. A house has already been purchased by Giles. You and your team will all be there, so it might be a little tight." She began walking again, and I followed her. She continued, "Though not nearly as tight as my house was when ALL the girls were there."
My eyes lit up. I was only half-serious about my own little Hyperion hotel sitch, but my own little command central? I began to tear up, but I quickly blocked that out and side stepped that barrel of awkardness.
"My own place? Wicked!" I said, opting for the excitement over the feelings per usual. A small part of me flashed back to when another person I cared for gave me a better place to lay my head, and for the first time in a long while, I acknowledged the memory and let it go without taking the time to kick myself.
"You know, I'm really glad I made the trip Faith," she said to me.
I wanted to hug her. I wanted to cry on her shoulder. I wanted to tell her how very sorry I had been for... everything. Everything I'd ever done to her or said to her. The pain I’d caused her… and her friends… and her boyfriends. I wanted to tell her thanks for giving me another shot. Thanks for believing in me when some many people hadn't, including myself. Thanks for giving me something to live for, and for giving me something to protect with people in it worth protecting. I wanted to... but I didn't. Seems like a convo for another time.
I nudged her shoulder back, "Same here, B. It's nice to see ya. Shouldn’t be such a stranger!" I flashed a smile that hopefully conveyed to her everything I wished I had the nerve to say. Then, upon seeing the keys, I snapped out of the sea of emotions I was drifting in.
"You want to see what you got?" she asked me, smiling.
“I would LOVE to,” I said, thankful for a break from my own thoughts. I hooked my arm back in hers. “Maybe if you have some time before heading back, you can help with decorations and furniture… or whatever. I mean, my last apartment was decorated by a guy whose highest aspiration was to become 60 foot tall pure-breed demon that looked like a snake.” I paused and smiled before continuing, “I mean, there were sheer blue curtains!”
